I haven't been training for the past few weeks, nor have I picked up my shinai for an extended period of time. It feels like everything is starting to fall apart; University is getting busy, work wants me to work more hours, need to apply for Graduate jobs, injury is preventing me from training, and just general problems in my life that don't seem to be worth thinking about.. yet I do.
It feels like i've reached one of many plateaus that I'll experience in my life. It doesn't feel nice, where nothing feels like it's going right. I feel that I've changed from the person that I was a few years ago. I was carefree, had little to nothing on my mind, stress-free, etc. Now, it seems like i've regressed into a person that I didn't want to become. Being afraid of making decisions in life.
I guess I need to re-evaluate my position in life... re-prioritise some things. Because, somethings don't seem to be important enough to be worth the hassle it is (no I'm not going to quit kendo). Just something in my life that has gotten me acting weirder & changing. Changing into this person I don't want to be..
Currently, it seems that I'm taking a lot of things on that I may/may not be able to handle. Overloading the number of subjects I take at uni, Working part time, Kendo.. just doesn't seem to have enough time for me to just relax and take a breather. I don't know how everyone else does it. Guess i'm not as great as I thought I would be.
I'll probably resume training again next week depending on how busy I'm going to be; with all the assignments i've got to do.
Until next time, I promise you that there won't be an emo post in the future to come. Hopefully I'll resolve my problems by that time and become a person that people have came to befriend.
Until then,
ciaossu
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